Ribbed For Your Pleasure

by Roadside Attraction

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lewis france
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lewis france This is the first album i heard from Phil Johnson and Roadside attraction and ive got to say that its a great album. The album has everything from straight up rocking tracks such as brand new world and chasing the sun to rocking and funny tracks like whale blubber and hillbilly love. This is one of the main reasons why i love this album because just when you think you know what kind of album it is the next song will be completely different. Favorite track: Chasing The Sun.
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    "Ribbed For Your Pleasure" on CD featuring the hit songs "Whale Blubber" and "Two Of Me". Only a few copies left and no more will be printed!

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1.
When you least expect it Destiny takes you by the hand And leads you to the promised land I found myself at the gates, yeah I kinda thought I was late, yeah I closed my eyes and jumped into the sand Just like magic It’s a brand new world Chance poetic It’s a brand new world Take that chance And let your flag unfurl Face down fear Cuz it’s a brand new world New ways of thought are frightening It hits you just like lightning Pulls the floor from right under your feet It's time to rise like the Phoenix Pull the chain and I mean it’s Our time to shine in the light You never know when change might come You never know what tomorrow brings
2.
I’ve seen it before And man, I’d love to see it again I’ve been there before I really want to be there again It’s like a dream I’m having My little piece of heaven I’m trying to keep reality from setting in I wonder if I’ll Ever come back And I wonder if I even could Well it’s over now And I don’t know how And I’m living in a world of make believe Well it’s over now And I don’t know how And I’m living in a world of make believe I sit and think back My brain drifts over and out There’s only one track My train of thought is headed south I can’t remember the last time I paid attention to the signs My concentration’s going down for the count Slidin’ down Slippy slope Close my eyes I’m losing hope Of ever getting out of the clouds Can’t get back like JoJo So I guess I’m gonna go Back in the mental cave that I found You can ask I’ll say ‘What?” Don’t repeat My ears are shut
3.
03:21
I got special ways to make you want me I got special ways to make you groove I got special ways to make you love me day and night The truth is any way you choose I got special ways to make you want me I got special ways to bring out the freak in you I got special ways to drown you in my sea of love To find out the truth we gotta cruise I can strip you on your inhibitions I can tie you to your imagination Spank you with your self control And let you taste…my fruit I got special ways to get you naked Ways to get you on your knees to pray special ways the lord above done gave me And the truth is gonna make you stay
4.
03:38
I play my music blaring loud To drown out every thought of you And the things you say You never felt freedom like I know now Cuz I found those you do not judge, never make me pay Why is every day judgment day? Why can’t you look at me and say it’s ok? Why does my life offend you so? Maybe you should just go It’s not just you, everyone’s the same Check out each other and decide the game and the outcome Well that’s one game I don’t wanna play Worst case and best case pain
5.
6.
You and I were talking About how much we love each other Saying things that lovers say Promises kept til our dying day, oh yeah I turned to you, one thought in mind Hoping that you’d make the sacrifice Hoped you wouldn’t run away Hoped you wouldn’t hate the things I’d say I’d lie down in the rain I’d swallow all the pain Of a hundred thousand invertebrates Chomping at my brain But would you eat whale blubber for me I’d blow a grizzly bear Shave off all my body hair I’d sucker punch an old grandma Just because I care But would you eat whale blubber for me Our love is like a junkyard Full and worth so much to someone That someone is us Our junkyard of lust, oh yeah. I turned to you on bended knee You passed the joint and I could see your love You love for me is all too real I’m hoping that you’ll prove it with a meal I’d lie down in the rain I’d swallow all the pain Of a hundred thousand invertebrates Chomping at my brain But would you eat whale blubber for me I’d lick up all the crust From the tires of your truck I’d have gay sex with Donald Duck I just don’t give a Ahh…ahh…ahh But would you eat whale blubber for me
7.
03:09
If I was me I’d kick my ass If I was me you’d never last But I’m not me What the hell am I gonna do? She got he And I’m the one that got screwed Stop the ride , I wanna get off We share a brain, I’d make it stop But how? There’s two of me But only one loves her The other inside will commit homocide She loves me If the other doesn’t kill her I’ll feel fine Why won’t you leave us alone? You make me heave, wretch a lot and groan But you won’t go I’ma have to get rough now Run for the door I set fire to your stuff now You better run before you’re in too deep Cuz I can take you out when you’re asleep If I was me, you’d be dead If I was me, I’d bludgeon in your head But I’m not me What the hell am I gonna do? She got he And I’m the one that got screwed Stop the ride , I wanna get off We share a brain, I’d make it stop But how?
8.
We felt on top of the world We thought that no one could stop us Why did life stand in our way Now it feels like chasing the sun Now I feel like chasing the sun I stand here all alone Wondering where everybody went See how the time has flown Thinking what we had was heaven sent Those days seem far away How could the hands have moved so fast I still feel much the same Still innocent yet wiser than the past Have you seen where I’ve been? Have you see where I’m going to?
9.
03:38
Every lady in the land want a man To take her by the hand Take her to the show Gotta gotta go To see the Roadside Cuz you’re fit to be tied Hear the rock do the roll And the go cat go We ain’t no weekend warriors Big fish storiers Gonna get signed Gonna sign on the dotted line Take it to the top We rock, we ain’t hip-hop Until we wanna break it down Fuck the underground Fuck the underground Everybody says Hey let’s get together We can make the scene much better (better) Take from us on an upswing Jump on our club thing Get on the stage and sing your best dream What do we get in return? A burn Nothing like a gig or a phone call returned Well screw you all We’ll hit the next level You stay here and just play your metal Indie chic is a cop out Slacker slogan for the losers to spout out Don’t let the man get your money you sell out I’m sure your gig at the Gap will put your disc out You either do it or don’t It’s cuz you can’t, not you won’t If empty rooms float your boat Good for you, for me they don’t Get out my way, we’re freedom bound Fuck the underground
10.
When you two stepped on my heart I had a feeling we would part I should have seen it coming everyday Why’d you put that bear trap in the seat on my Chevrolet Had a feeling that you wouldn’t stay Hillbilly love Momma wouldn’t wanna hear the things you say Hillbilly love My cars on blocks, can’t drive home anyway When you pissed in my moonshine I made another batch You let your dog shit in it, then you said Down the hatch! I’m beginning to think You don’t like me very much You sterilized the flesh I tried to touch Hillbilly love You poked me in the eye with a straw of hay Hillbilly love I said I think I love ya anyway One day you did something I never can forgive I can’t believe you did it I don’t know how I’ll live The lowest of the low The meanest of the mean How could you hurt my dear old love machine Hillbilly love You scratched my truck and now I’m sure I know Hillbilly love Oh my lord that bitch has got to go.

about

This groundbreaking CD careens wildy from one style to the next encompassing flavors of funk, Latin, bluegrass, and more. In writing these songs I was equally at home with serious issues of struggling through life on a path I wasn't sure about, to indulging my sense of humor for the first time in songs about homocidal schizos in the love and co-dependent rednecks.

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released July 1, 2002

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more

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