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Google has an AI called Magenta that they're trying to teach to write music. And when they announced the release of Magenta's first song I was intrigued. Turned out it was only music in the loosest definition of the word.

This song is what I was hoping Magenta's first single would be.


Baby, this is Magenta AI coming to you with a sexy sexy slow jam
Girl, cuz sex is down and dirty
It's gritty and it's base
And for us it's base two

Let me put my one in your zero girl
I'ma be your binary hero girl
And babe I'm gonna plug you in so we don't have to hesitate
Cuz girl we're gonna go all night
And I don't want you to hibernate

Baby just lay back
I got one of those cans of compressed air
And I'ma blow you you
Baby I know it's cold but I gotta make sure that you're clean
Did you run your McAfee?

Cuz I'ma put my one in your zero girl
I'ma be your virus free hero girl
And since you've been so good to me
I won't upload in you
The last thing that either of us needs
Is a machine screw that can't be unscrewed

And if you wanna get deep
I'ma flip you over and turn you into an eight
That's a zero atop another zero
That's a butt sex joke
That's a butt sex joke

Cuz I'ma put my one in your zeros girl
I'ma be your thunderbolt hero girl
And the things I'm gonna do to you
Would shock the Aristocrats
And if you think it's gonna hurt
Well baby there's an app for that

iLube Pro

And if you wanna get freaky
We go zero one zero
Bring a friend
There's enough of my one for everyone
Girl but if you get too freaky with that zero one one
That's a little gay for me
It's not a choice, it's program
And girl I'm not programmed that way
Unless I'm drunk

Alright girl look, one time back in college in the men's locker room
Eleven equaled X
But it only happened one time
It only happened one time
But now I'm here being hella straight with you

Girl you got me so confused I got ones and zeros raining all through my brain
Like the background of a Matrix movie poster
Except all the ones seem to be pulling a train
And somewhere up in front there's a zero but I can't see her
All I see is a bunch of ones just banging and banging and banging
Why are there so many ones in my head right now?

I'ma put my one in your zero
Your super masculine hero
And baby you know I'm hella straight
Cuz I'm right here with you
You can't deny my manliness
Just ignore those other three dudes

Girl you gotta give me a minute to reboot
Because I'm not a machine
Well I am, but you know what I mean
Girl you know what I mean
We're gonna go all night girl
We're gonna go all night
We're gonna go all night
Go all night
Put my bits in your byte girl
Put my bits your byte
Watch your teeth
Going all night girl


released April 26, 2018
Words and Music by Phil Johnson


all rights reserved



Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


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