Dodged A Bullet
by Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction
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Digital Album
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Includes the full and karaoke versions of Dodged A Bullet plus a surprise bonus track from one of my other albums and an ebook called "Short Stories and Chicken Recipes".Purchasable with gift card -
Full Digital Discography Full Digital Discography
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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Designer Babies, Do You Believe In Tragic?, Kitties and Boobs, Dodged A Bullet, Kissing In The Rain (2022 Remaster), Happiest Place On Earth, I'm Not Really In The Christmas Mood This Year (feat. Dave Leon), Burning Sensation: The San Diego Bootleg, and 38 more.
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Dodged A Bullet
02:24
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Little baby you were brought here through a miracle
And a broken condom
I didn't know sperm carried knives
And somehow you got by the IUD
The diaphragm, the spermicide, and a morning after pill
But if Daddy hadn't been so drunk
And Mommy hadn't run out of batteries
If Daddy pulled out on time
Instead of thinking 'bout Angelina Jolie
Then baby you wouldn't be here
You'd have been wiped up with a towel
Little baby will your new life be a happy one
Or will you make your money
Putting sausage between your buns
Will you be a great man
Who brings peace to all the land
Or the type of guy that lures kids into a big white cargo van
And since you're pretty scary
I'm really glad that you're not mine
And I guess I'm pretty happy
That your mommy cheated on me this time
So go ahead and be
Just as evil as you wanna be
Hell yes, I dodged that bullet and I'm free.
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2. |
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Little baby you were brought here through a miracle
And a broken condom
I didn't know sperm carried knives
And somehow you got by the IUD
The diaphragm, the spermicide, and a morning after pill
But if Daddy hadn't been so drunk
And Mommy hadn't run out of batteries
If Daddy pulled out on time
Instead of thinking 'bout Angelina Jolie
Then baby you wouldn't be here
You'd have been wiped up with a towel
Little baby will your new life be a happy one
Or will you make your money
Putting sausage between your buns
Will you be a great man
Who brings peace to all the land
Or the type of guy that lures kids into a big white cargo van
And since you're pretty scary
I'm really glad that you're not mine
And I guess I'm pretty happy
That your mommy cheated on me this time
So go ahead and be
Just as evil as you wanna be
Hell yes, I dodged that bullet and I'm free.
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credits
released September 6, 2012
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about
Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas
Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more
shows
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Sep 30Ukiah, CA
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Oct 13Alameda, CA
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Oct 14Alameda, CA
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Oct 21Duluth, MN
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Oct 22Madison, WI
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Oct 24Chicago, IL
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Oct 25Chicago, IL
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Nov 10Medford, OR
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Nov 11Medford, OR
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Nov 17Richland, WA
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Nov 18Richland, WA
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Nov 25Livermore, CA
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Dec 02Lakeport, CA
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Dec 08Napa, CA
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Dec 20Campbell, CA
discography
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Jun 2023 -
Jan 2023 -
May 2022 -
Mar 2022