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Super Dan is a super hero who's only super when he's blackout drunk. Or maybe he's just a drink dude at the bar with a ton of tall tales to tell.


The sun's gone down and Dan is having drinks with friends
Nothing awfully crazy, just one or two
Cuz something always happens when he gets too loaded
That lands him on the six o'clock news

Like the lady that he saved from having all her stuff stolen
When he threw up on the purse snatcher's shoes
Or the time he stopped the mayor from being shot by an assassin
By taking him to get a tattoo

Of the logo they'd use when they start a band
Because only when things get out of hand
He becomes Super Dan

Super Dan is only super when he's blackout drunk
He can stop a robbery just by blowing chunks
When you see the Dan signal of a bottle of Jack in the sky
It tells you that you can rely on Super Dan

Uh oh... You can bet that he will show
Uh Uh Oh... If he's facedown in a Merlot

The morning after hero he often feels like zero
His hangovers are super sized
But every hero needs to have a big arch enemy
For Dan it's loud noise and bright lights

One time he stopped a bombing by a masked man in a bank
He diffused the bomb and saved all of them
He'll tell you it was genius knowing the right button to push
But he just thought it was the ATM

He can leap a tall bar and land flat on the floor
He's faster than a silver bullet can of Coors
He is Super Dan

Super Dan is only super when he's feeling no pain
Fermented grain makes him fly like a airplane
He shouldn't fly when he's been down in his secret lair liquor lab
So can you call a taxi cab for Super Dan?

Uh oh... To drive a car he's got to blow
Uh Uh oh... Blood alcohol of 1.0

And he can walk through walls
Because he missed the door (double vision)
And he can shift shapes
From man to lump on floor (puddle pissin')

And he fights crime
Even if he can't stand (keelin ova')
He once passed out
Saved all of Japan (Go Godzilla)

And evil men cower
When he's in his prime (barely lucid)
And they hear his battle cry
It's Miller time !

Super Dan is only super when he's super plowed
Tried breathing fire but the Everclear just burned his brows
He likes to think he's got the super awesome power of mind control
When hitting on some ugly troll, that's Super Dan

Uh oh... He had her when he said hello
Uh uh oh... Too bad she looks like a Van Gogh

Dan has got a bar stool with his name carved on the side
A tribute to his drunken wins
But he knows to really get much bigger he better get a rig
Because a hero needs his heroin

Like the time he stopped a terrorist by hitting him with his car
Cuz he nodded out behind the wheel
Or when he stopped a huge invading strange alien race
By shooting up with Ron Popeil

And maybe there weren't really aliens in the attic
But they cut them all down with a Chop-o-Matic
Ragin' Ron and Super Dan

Super Dan is only super when he's totally stewed
He knows karate, jiu jitsu, and a bit of kung fu
Ask him to show you, he'll end up just trying to kick some old dude in the teeth
Sometimes it's tricky to believe ol' Super Dan

Uh oh... He says he knows some taekwondo
Uh uh oh.... Claims he beat up Russell Crowe
Uh oh....A total lie since it began
Uh uh oh.... He's just a drunken stupid Su-per Dan


released September 7, 2014
Words and Music by Phil Johnson
Published by Bucky Mack Music (ASCAP)

Artwork by Jeff Sornig of Sornigrafix.com




Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


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