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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $0.90 USD  or more

     

  • T-Shirt/Apparel + Digital Album

    High quality t-shirts that say "Be Yourself...Unless You're An Idiot". Tell the world how you really feel!

    Comes in Small-XXL and a variety of colors. You pick the size, I'll pick the color.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Be Yourself...Unless You're An Idiot via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $15 USD

     

  • Phil's Newest Stand-Up Comedy DVD!
    * An hour of comedy and music including special bonus extra songs and jokes, a Q&A with Phil, and the Mystery Of The Red Shirt revealed!
    * Free audio CD included
    * Completely new material
    * Widescreen format.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Be Yourself...Unless You're An Idiot via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days

      $20 USD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 27 Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of I Wanna Rock (Socially Responsibly), Until We Both Drop Dead, The Legend of Ms Garcia, Kissing In The Rain, Pretty From The Back (Album and Film), Super Dan, Rudolph the Blood Soaked Reindeer, Here Comes My Baby, and 19 more. , and , .

      $40.95 USD or more (35% OFF)

     

about

A subtle nudge to encourage people to partake of my wares.

lyrics

You've been a wonderful wonderful crowd
The kind that makes a performer's heart just sing
We've had laughter, we've had tears
We faced down all of our fears
So I only need to say this one last thing

Buy my shit
I've got CDs and t-shirts, DVDs and panties
You can wear my face in all your nooks and crannies
Buy my shit
I've got mouse pads and mugs
I can even get you drugs
Like aspirin and immodium
Please just buy a modicum
of my shit

It's not the kind that comes from a butt
It's more like my blood, sweat, tears, and guts
If you say no I'll say tut tut tut
I bet you'd rather buy some stupid Phil Johnson truck nuts

Buy my shit
If you're here on a date and you're courting a young maid
It's safe than the beer, it'll still get you laid
Buy my shit
It's got super magic powers
It makes money grow on trees
It'll make you rich and famous
Oh no wait, that's me

Buy my shit
You'll have fun
It's not a joke
I've got a gun
It's the cure for gout, crabs, heart disease, and zits
Because I can't be funny if I've got no money
Buy my shit

credits

from Be Yourself​.​.​.​Unless You're An Idiot, released August 25, 2010

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about

Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more

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