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This is mine. What's yours?


I went toward the white light when I found I was dead.
But I must have done wrong because they sent me south instead.
And at Hell's orientation I found out what's in store.
An eternity of pain.
All this and more.

Kale for every meal
Cake that tastes like dirt.
Spending every day talking to a bunch of QAnon jerks.
They gave me a laptop but it's only got a tape drive.
The radio only plays fucking Maroon 5.
Every day begins with me asking "Hey, what's that smell?"
It's just another day in my personal hell.


from Do You Believe In Tragic?, released January 6, 2023


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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


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