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This is mine. What's yours?

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I went toward the white light when I found I was dead.
But I must have done wrong because they sent me south instead.
And at Hell's orientation I found out what's in store.
An eternity of pain.
All this and more.

Kale for every meal
Cake that tastes like dirt.
Spending every day talking to a bunch of QAnon jerks.
They gave me a laptop but it's only got a tape drive.
The radio only plays fucking Maroon 5.
Every day begins with me asking "Hey, what's that smell?"
It's just another day in my personal hell.

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from Do You Believe In Tragic?, released January 6, 2023

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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more

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