After performing in Las Vegas and seeing all the different way to get in trouble there, I decided I needed to write a song. A cautionary tale, if you will. Be careful what you wish for. It exists in Las Vegas.


I'm driving down the I-1-5
Leaving those second rate joints behind
I'm headed straight for the glitz and glam
To flush my money right down the can

In Las Vegas
Where you can see the stars
In Las Vegas
You can snort coke with whores
Where bratty little rich kids can blow their whole inheritance
And proper Christian sisters rub shoulders with the heretics
Fat midwestern housewives can lose the college fund
To keep their little children dumb enough
To go to Vegas

There's no sight like a showgirl's dress
Or the sight of her big beautiful talent
I know how Vegas can affect your mood
Your dirty mind just thought of something rude

In Las Vegas
Where you can drink for free
In Las Vegas
You can get VD
And if you play your cards right she'll be your biggest fan
And yes that pretty hooker might just be a man
But it's just your Uncle Murray living out his dream
And hoping you don't tell your Aunt Doreen
In Las Vegas

In Las Vegas
Where it's really goddamn hot
In Las Vegas
If you're Tupac you just might get shot
Where a turn of the roulette can pay off all your bills
Or put you on the street using your oral skills
To try to get enough dough to get back home
Where you swear you never ever gonna go back to Vegas
Rotten Vegas
Cesspool Vegas
Kinda miss Vegas
When's the next flight back to Vegas
Turn the plane around


from What Color Is Your Laugh?, released September 15, 2008




Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


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