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After listening back to some of the hard rock stuff from my teenage years I realized that a lot of it is too sexist/homophobic/drug-addled to be released now.

So I thought I should write something in that style with a more modern mindset to it.


Lock up your daughters
We're coming for them
Gonna have some consensual sex
If they don't wanna
We're gonna respect that
Cuz I'm a good male feminist

Oh well it's Saturday night and I'm feeling alright
I manifest gratitutde, I'm blessed
And tonight we're gonna rock until an appropriate hour
And then get 8 hours of rest
Eight hours of rest

I wanna rock
And that means being inclusive
Of people and their cultures
Without appropriation
I wanna rock
But let's make sure that it's conducive
To a balanced life of work and play
And avoiding all gluten
I wanna rock

Don't drink too much
Don't drive, there's Uber
Make sure you're staying hydrated
And then tomorrow
Go do some yoga
Your root chakra's looking kinda faded

Cuz we'll be hittin' the town and tearin' it down
We're gonna up and gentrify this bitch
But we'll always make sure that there's affordable housing
We'll put it underneath the bridge
Underneath the bridge

I wanna rock
Cuz I find my work fulfilling
And I invest in companies that are
ecologically sound
I wanna rock
I don't need no 401K
Cuz I'm a cowboy and a rebel
With a maxed-out IRA
I wanna rock

I wanna rock
Do ya wanna rock?
If you don't wanna rock then that's ok
This is a judgment free zone
And everybody to each their own

But I wanna rock
If you don't wanna rock?
Our differences are just to be embraced
I don't see color, I don't see race
I'm not even sure you've got a face
Not even sure you've got a face

I wanna rock
Because you're you and you've got spunk
You'll never hear me use a slur
Not even when I'm drunk
I wanna rock
With tolerance for your religion
Jesus or Mohammed or a goat with sixteen heads
I wanna rock

I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
I'll tolerate you
Can I have permission to rock?


from Burning Sensation: The San Diego Bootleg, released November 5, 2021


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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


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