We've updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Roadside Attraction - Brown Ring Around The Collar

from Raising A Rockus by Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction



There's a terrible disease that afflicts most of our society. It's gone unchecked for too many years and we've decided to shine the light on it in hopes of helping others. That disease is called "Stupid". And it's rampant. We're not talking ignorance. That can be fixed with education. We're talking downright dumbasses who shouldn't be allowed to breed.


Everyone can hear you coming from five miles away
In your juiced up Chevrolet
Windows rattle with the noise
They’re going thump thump thump
I pull up next to you at a red stop light
Looking to my right, see you wear ear plugs
You’re Forrest Gump Gump Gump
You’re Forrest Gump Gump Gump

And I hope that you’re chest implodes
When your speakers blow out

Brown Ring Around The Collar
Do you know that your head’s up your ass today?
Brown Ring Around The Collar
I would ask that you please do not procreate
Brown Ring Around The Collar
Is it hard to eat? Is it hard to poop?
Brown Ring Around The Collar
Are you stuck in an endless fecal feedback loop?

Got an order for me and the five other guys
Hit the fast food joint with wide open eyes
Not a drink in sight, but you don’t realize
You’re a chump chump chump
You ask for here or to go and I say
Do I look that hungry anyway, Asshole?
You stare right back at me with those two blank eyes
Like a lump lump lump

And I hope that you choke on the fry
That you stole from the trash


Hey bendejo
Hey bobosso
Hey bendejo, yeah!
Hey bendejo
Hey, hey, hey, what!
God damn stupid people piss me off

98 degrees in the shade and you’re waiting in line
Six hours at a time in a place made for play
Miss fashion plate’s gotta have her high heels on
She’s going clump clump clump
Your ankles swell to the size of two small dogs
By the end of the day
At least swap the nine inch heels away
For some pump pump pumps

And I hope that your heel breaks off
And birds shit on your dress



from Raising A Rockus, released September 1, 2007


all rights reserved



Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


contact / help

Contact Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Report this track or account