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Roadside Attraction - Asshole

from Raising A Rockus by Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction



Do you have that one person at work that you just can't stand? Just looking at them makes you want to rip their head off and force feed it to their grandmother? In this song we'll calmly discuss three of these people: The Brown Noser (aka Assistant Manager), The Office Gossip, and The Inept Moron. My biggest goal with this song is to see someone actually marching around their office singing this at the top of their lungs.


I know you’ve got aspirations
Of being the boss one day
Who put that stick up your ass anyway
Poster boy for company castration
You grovel and you kiss the ground
Go deep you just might make your whole face brown
You’re the assistant manager company boy you sad pathetic fuck

You’re and asshole
And I don’t like you very much
That water cooler might look better
Stuck right up your butt
Cuz you’re and asshole
I can’t believe you’re still employed
The company’s public image
Must be one big hemorrhoid
Cuz you’re an asshole
You’re an asshole Oh oh

You stick your nose deep in everyone’s business
Well stay the hell out of mine
You know it’ll come back to bite you in time
I might just tell everyone here tonight
That little thing I know about you
I saw you in the closet sniffing glue
And fellating a sheep in the copier room while the CEO tells you that


You must be related to someone
It’s the only way you coulda got here
Underqualified, understatement of the year
A left handed rabid crack-head chimpanzee
Could do the job better than you
You could even screw up flinging poo
You’re the stupidest person that I’ve ever met
And I just wanna ring your goddamned neck


This song might offend a few
But hopefully no one in this room
But if you’re not singing then it’s true
That I’m singing this here song about you



from Raising A Rockus, released September 1, 2007




Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more


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