You Make Me Feel (Like I Can Do Anything)

from by Phil Johnson of Roadside Attraction

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A love song to my audiences... When I get in front of a good audience, they make me feel like I could accomplish anything... Even things that probably should not be accomplished for my own health.

lyrics

You make me feel like I could do anything
You make me feel like I could do anything
I could stick a lightsaber up Darth Vader's ass
Eat Taco Bell and never get gas
Stick my head in an alligator's jaw
But that would be fucking stupid
And you make me feel like I could do anything

I live just to see the twinkle in your eye
The same one you get watching a death row inmate die
But we might have more fun with some Spanish Fly

You make me feel like I can do anything
Make hot monkey love to you under the stars
Or in the back seat of your boss's new car
Touch little boys and get a Vatican pardon
Cuz nothing says holy like a priest with a hard on
And you make me feel like I can do anything

My day doesn't end til there's a smile on your face
Like beating that old lady to the best parking space
Like Adolph telling Eva about his master race

And you make feel like I could do anything
With you in my life I will always have joy
With you in my life I'll have no more hemorrhoids
You're Preparation H for my soul
And you make me feel like I can do anything

I feel so empowered
Like the world is my oyster
Like a creative genius
Who could find a rhyme for oyster
Is this song making you moister?

You make me feel like I could do anything
I could drive a monster
Through the front window of a Walmart
And kill a hundred white trash rednecks
How's that for ironic?
With you I can do anything
Like maybe
End my show

credits

from What Color Is Your Laugh?, released September 15, 2008

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Phil Johnson and Roadside Attraction Milpitas

Phil Johnson is a man who gets mistaken for a woman, but only by those not paying attention. That revelation kicks off a battle for self-awareness where comedy and music are the weapons of choice. It’s a battle that has taken Phil to such esteemed festivals as the Edinburgh Fringe and Sundance Film Festivals and the Top 8 Finals of the World Series of Comedy. ... more

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